Looking for Something to Do With Your Boyfriend at Home? Try This Conversation Experiment.
The Fast Friends Procedure
I discovered this activity while reading Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg. The 36 questions were developed by Arthur Aron and his research collaborators to explore how people build closeness.
You can find the full list of questions on Warren Berger’s A More Beautiful Question website.
A conversation over dinner
My uncle and aunt have been married for several decades. It was my uncle’s birthday last week, and for a gift I sent him these questions. Over a quiet dinner, they took turns asking and answering them.
My intent was for this married couple to be closer together. Even after decades together, I liked the idea that there might still be something new to discover about each other. Marriage is a special relationship, and strengthening it is always a good thing to do. These questions have the potential to do that.
They put their minds together for 36 questions.
Thinking of love and acting in loving way made their emotions lovely too.
Coming Soon:
Remember, the postulate of th B.E.T.S. procedure!
Try it together at home
Make yourselves comfortable—with a cup of tea, over dinner, or on the couch—and set aside some time when you won’t be distracted.
Open the 36 questions on Warren Berger’s website. They’re divided into three sets, moving from lighter questions toward more personal ones. Follow the order and take turns answering each question.
Give each other time to answer. Let a question become a conversation if something interests you, rather than rushing to finish the list. If either of you feels uncomfortable, you can skip a question or take a break.
You might discover something new about each other—or finally have a conversation you’ve never thought to start.
Warren Berger writes that the questions, when used gradually in the right order, “have been proven to make a lasting connection between two people.” The activity is also known as the Fast Friends Procedure.
You can find the full list of questions on Warren Berger’s A More Beautiful Question website. They Quote the New York Times there.
